Random Question:

How many times in a week can one eat at In 'N Out Burger before over doing it? ...or is that even possible?

It's over...

I went to the Vegas Bowl on Saturday with my family. I had seats in the end zone, which wasn't the best, until the last 3 seconds of the game. BYU, yet again, stepped it up at the very last possible moment, and blocked the infamous field goal, which won us the game. It was an incredible moment, and yet bittersweet, as I realized...

BYU Football season is over. What the heck am I going to do for the next 8 months?

Special Effects aren't really that special

Being a Southern Californian, I am blessed to be near a handful of amusement parks. Today my family and I were fortunate enough to go to Universal Studios. I'm tempted to lie and say it was a beautiful day just to make all my friends in Utah envious of me, but it wasn't. It was freezing.

Towards the end of the day, we were waiting in line for the special effects show. We were all tired of standing in line and I got so tired of moving forward in line, just to hear "Sorry, this show is full. The next show starts in 10 minutes." I noticed how everytime a show was about to start, they would ask for a female volunteer and she and her whole family got to cut in line and go in first.

Yes, it's true. I took a hit for the team, and I volunteered myself for the next show so my family and I could get in and get front row seats. I had to do a series of acts where I acted like a moron in front of complete strangers. It's amazing the idiotic things you do willingly when your cold.

Makes me wonder what I look/act like in Utah 5 months out of the year.

career change?

This evening I was sitting in the waiting room at jiffy lube. It's a very dangerous place, I've come to realize. Between the toxic fumes of car oil and the unique individuals who are also waiting, I never know what will happen. Today's experience proved to be no exception.

As I entered the waiting room, I saw a gentleman in army attire. I do what I normally do in the jiffy lube waiting room: avoid eye contact, sit down in the most isolated corner, and read the book I bring with me. He must not have picked up on my "I don't want to chat" cues because he proceeded to introduce himself and ask me what I do for a living.

He then proceeded to try to recruit me into the army for the next half hour. I have to admit, his offers did seem intriguing (teach in Japan or Germany, serve my country, etc.)

The clincher was when he said there was a 6 year commitment. SIX YEARS! I can't even commit to an apartment for 6 MONTHS! How could I possibly commit to six years?!

Hmmmm....knowing how often I move....and how often the average military man moves...maybe it would be a perfect fit for me, after all.

Why I teach in Utah...

What happens when you teach kids with autism in Utah?


Student 1: "Jesus is my best friend"
Student 2: "NO! Jesus is MY best friend!"
Student 1 sings: "I'm trying to be like Jesus"
Student 2: "STOP! That's MY Jesus song!!!"

Polar Express Day

Today was Polar Express Day for the Kindergarten at our school. I look forward to this day every year. Not only do I get to have cookies and Hot Cocoa, I also get to wear my pajamas and slippers to work and stay in them all day. I've decided to write a mission statement and put them in everyone's box at work, to change casual fridays to pajama mondays. I think people would be more excited to go to work on Mondays if they knew that they were able to just roll out of bed and go. And as a teacher, it is our job to show our students what it's like in the real world. What better way to show how lazy America has become than by our example?

Hey, a mission statement worked out for Jerry Maguire in the end. I don't see why it can't work for me.

*Disclaimer: I watched Jerry Maguire edited on TBS.

a prayer to remember

I attended my great grandmother's funeral on thursday. She was 85 years old when she passed away and had five generations alive. Which only proves that in the Funk Family, we like to start our families young (I'm definitely the outliar in my family. I pretty much have screwed up my family tradition by staying single for so long).
My great grandmother spent the majority of her life in the little town of Ferron, UT. (Population 500ish) Lets just say it's an interesting little town. One of my relatives, who, to I've never met before in my life, gave the closing prayer. This prayer has now been nominated and won the award for most interesting prayer I've ever heard at a funeral. (As judged by my brother and I). My guess is that this particular relative may have wished to give a talk instead of the closing prayer, based on the fact that her prayer when a little something like this.

"God, I've been thinking about this for the past few days and I could just picture grandpa waiting to greet grandma up there by hiding behind a rock and when she entered, he'd yell out "BANG!" and grandma would say to him, 'oh, jack, that's not very nice." ..."

Yes, she really did yell out BANG in her prayer. Freaked me out for a split second, I'm not going to lie.

And this is the kind of people I'm related to. I love Ferron.

hmmm...what does this say about me?

Last night, I went to my ward Christmas party. I was sitting with a bunch of girls and one of them had this brilliant idea to play "I've never..." - boy version. Now, if you aren't familiar with this game, everyone holds up one hand, and takes turn confessing something they've never done with a guy, the point being to say something that everyone else has done so they have to put down a finger. The first one with no fingers left loses, last one standing wins.

I figure, ok, pretty harmless, right? I'm mean, after all, I'm a fairly conservative person with nothing to hide. Some of the confessions were, "I've never made out in the back seat of a car," "I've never said 'I love you to a boyfriend," "I've never kissed a guy in the past 3 weeks," etc. Hmmm...imagine my utter surprise when I realized that i was having to put down a finger far more frequently than the rest of the group. We played two rounds...I was the first one out in BOTH rounds. Hmmm...what does this say about me?

I attribute my losing (wins?) to the fact that I had at least 2 years on everyone, hence making me the more experienced one. I also realized that had I been playing with some of my good ole buddies back at Timp Gateway, I would venture to say it would have been a much more competitive game. Hence, I challenge them to a round of "I've never..." in hopes of proving that I'm not really as big of a skank as it seemed last night.

When the nightmare becomes a reality...

About a week ago, I wrote about how my aide took a day off of work due to head lice. Well, yesterday, I had the unfortunate event of sending one of my students home due to lice. (Yeah, that's an awkward phone call to make...) Yet again, we had to have the nurse come and check us all. I was cleared, but I decided to take every precaution this time. I went to the store and bought lice killing shampoo. It's not a very pleasant experience...You wash it with dry hair. Awkward. I had my co-teacher come over and do a more thorough check of my hair just to double check. Then she went home, washed her hair, and I checked for lice in her. It's a very delicate process. I'll be repeating the process in 7-10 days as the shampoo directions suggest. Better to be safe than sorry. Yeah, ew....I know it's gross.

I'm trying not to take it personally, but...

Yesterday, one of my students was having an emotional day. He was crying over just about everything. By the end of the day, I was so exasperated, I told him, "You need to sit down and have a quiet mouth." He got so upset he yelled out, "Miss Bell, you are NOT a princess."

Normally I would go on a tangent about how men can be such jerks, but considering the source is a 5 year old with autism, I think I'll let this one pass.

another year of bragging rights

Jerry Cook and I went to the BYU/U of U game. We got there early to watch the cougars warm up. (Would you ever guess that Jerry's standing on the step above me in the picture?)

Rushing the field!!! Cougars won: 17-10. YAY!!!

It was freezing, but winning can sure warm one's soul.

every teacher's nightmare

Yesterday, my para-educator calls me early and says, "I won't be able to make it into work today." She had a hesitant voice and continued to explain that she had head lice! None of her kids had it so naturally, I began to wonder if she got it from my class.

Now your mind plays funny tricks on you. For the next 3 hours, my other aides and I kept scratching our heads, complaining that it was itching. The school nurse had to come in and check all my students. It's quite a funny site. Kinda reminded me of monkeys grooming each other.

On a happier note, we were all declared lice-free. I guess my itchy head could have had something to do with the fact that I hadn't showered in a couple days.